Mail Man
“Tons and tons of mail to tons and tons of people.”
Manager | |
Profession | Spam Specialist |
Speciality | I send emails to push people into doing pointless things or something that harms them |
Secret passion | Chinese calligraphy 🖌 |
Factory | |
Name of the factory | Spam Center |
The main purpose of the factory | Distributing spam |
The level at which the factory opens | Level 2 |
Minion of the factory | |
Name | Spam Minion |
Special characteristic | Knows all the addresses in the world 📬 |
Tell us about your job
“I send emails to people. Frankly, I don’t even care what’s in them, because it’s not really my concern. I get paid to spread the message as widely as possible. This is a numbers game: the more people receive the message, the more people will fall for it. My job is to collect the email addresses and get the emails through the spam filters. After that, I just need to get the person to do something foolhardy. This job requires both technological finesse and the ability to manipulate people. I’ve got both.
It’s a great moment when, with a bit of luck, the right email lands in front of the right person at the right time. Then again, it’s easy. So many people are always waiting for a parcel to arrive or have maxed out their cloud storage.
But if there’s one thing I truly despise, it’s spam filters. They’re annoyingly good at catching my emails. But what frustrates me the most is when someone actually stops to think after reading the subject line. If I had my way, no one would think twice, they’d just click away.”